I wasn't expecting to add another post so soon after my last but what a nightmare i'm having!
My spoons have gone on strike!!
It's as if they won't replenish. Not with rest, with coffee, hot baths, energy tablets, pain relief or any other way I usually blag extra ones.
I know I had a pretty heavy weekend. At the races all day Saturday and then out for Lunch on Sunday but I usually start feeling half human an hour or two after my first lot of pain relief.
Yesterday, this didn't happen. It still didn't happen after my second lot. I felt dizzy and weak. I put this down to not having much breakfast or the anemia and had some soup, a load of bread and a Complan build up meal for lunch. I still felt dizzy.
By the time I finished work I had taken my third lot of tablets. The pain and dizziness still hadn't eased up and my legs were in cramps. I was getting worse. Not ideal for driving home on the motorway.
I really thought I was going to have to pull the car over onto the hard shoulder. My vision started to blur. I was getting high pitched, tinnitus like noises in my ears. I actually felt drunk.
I managed to get to Robs parents to pick up the baby but there was no way I was capable of driving with him in the car. I wouldn't chance it. I had to get Rob to get a taxi to his mams so he could drive us home.
By the time I got home I was having really strong palpitations. I could feel the pulse beating through every bit of my body. I was being sick. My whole body was twitching. I was starting to panic.
Hello Anxiety. Go ahead and make everything seem worse than it is why don't you! Can someone tell me why Anxiety is linked to HMS? As if we don't have to put up with enough.
From the minute I got in I lay down trying to get some sleep, hoping it would all stop. It didn't. The cramps got worse. The palpitations started to hurt. The twitching became more frequent. I know it was just because I was panicking so done nothing but lie in bed and TRY to sleep.
I was still wide awake at midnight. The burning cramps, twitching and muscle jerks were keeping me awake. I had an attack of IBS which I can only describe as labour type pains. Absolute agony. Another lovely related symptom of HMS!
I had no energy left, not even enough to sleep!!
I think I managed a few hours but it's obviously done me no good. I've woke up no different. The tablets still haven't had any effect. My legs are still burning. Every muscle is aching. Every bone is cracking. I'm still dizzy.
I'd do anything to get some spoons back!
I feel useless. I managed to spend all of half an hour with my baby yesterday and again Rob had to take over and do everything. I've had to ring in sick at work today. Rob has taken Bobby to the childminders so I can get some rest and try to pull myself round. Feel like one big Epic Fail!
When will I wake up and not have to think about getting up to take tablets? Is that ever going to happen? I can't see this ending anytime soon.
Maybe if I just had some decent (deep) sleep my muscles would have to time to relax/recover and maybe stop hurting as much the following day. Why can't my GP see this? Why won't she change my medication when I've told her it's not working? Its easy enough for anyone to look online and see what is suggested for HMS. Why hasn't she done that? I know I have plenty of times! I know what I could be taking! I just don't want to seem like I'm seeking medication.
I suppose I've just got to wait it out and hope my appointment with the specialist comes through soon.
The uncertainty of this condition is so annoying! I have no idea when I'm going to have a good or bad day. Living day by day and trying not to plan ahead in case I have to cancel.
I'm getting married in just over 3 weeks, and hoping to have a hen party to. What if i'm like this on our wedding day? Fingers crossed that's not going to happen.
The whole point of me writing this post is to find out what others do when you've ran out of spoons. I'm currently lying in bed, surrounded by pillows, glass of water, boxes of tablets (all types) and the remote for the TV. I'm not moving until I'm hungry.
Have you ever had one of those days when no matter what you do, or don't do, you can't seem to reclaim any spoons?
Please comment with your answers, experiences and suggestions to help others. Hopefully this post along with your replies we will help people if they ever find themselves in the same situation.
Now, time to try and get some sleep!!